Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Today’s article is about two definitions.
Introvert means a person who prefers calm environments, limits social engagement, or embraces a greater than average preference for solitude. I’ve always thought of an introvert as someone who gets their energy from being quiet or having time to themselves.
Extrovert means having a disposition that is energized through social engagement and languishes in solitude. So in contrast to introverts, extroverts get their energy from being with people in teams or on group activities.
The reason I’m bringing up extroverts and introverts is because I recently participated in a meeting where someone got these definitions wrong. And on top of that, they implied that being an extrovert is better than being an introvert because you have to be outgoing and gregarious in order to be successful.
I believe we need to be careful when attaching labels to people, even labels like extrovert and introvert. Because the truth is we’re a little bit of both. We might find that we gravitate toward one or the other at home versus at work. Or we tend to feel one way around certain groups and differently in others.
In fact, it’s possible if we would self-identify as an extrovert that maybe we’re working through a challenge and deliberately focused on introverted qualities like a calm environment and spending time alone. The reverse could also be true. An individual who self-identifies as an introvert might be in a new role and trying to build new work friendships by spending more time with others.
Organizations need employees to have both introvert and extrovert qualities. Teams need both as well. As individuals, we know our preferences. That being said, as individuals we should be willing to share our preferences and occasionally flex to meet the needs of the situation. And if we’re on the receiving end – meaning that someone is asking us to give them space or asking to be included with the group – we need to figure out how to respect them.
The meeting I was in recently reminded me of a few things.
- Know the meaning of the words you use.
- No one is 100% introvert or extrovert. We have a bit of both.
- While we know our preferences, there might be times when we need to flex.
- We need to respect the preferences of others.
As organizations spend more time talking about returning to the office and the benefits of collaboration, knowing what extrovert and introvert mean will become incredibly important.
Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Havana, Cuba
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Brendan Hickey says
Thanks for taking the time on this.
One of the other common misunderstandings of these terms is to oversimplify them as “talking” and “not talking.” Introverts talk – my goodness, do we talk – in paragraphs and pages – when we know the rules of the environment and feel safe. I readily make small talk in convenience stores, but to me, sincere as it is, that’s nothing. If it doesn’t go well, it means nothing to me. I’m not showing you anything important.
As for the rest of the continua on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (Thinking-Feeling, Perceiving-Judging, and Intuiting-Sensing), these are just defaults or comfort zones. A healthy personality can adapt to the needs of the situation. As an Introvert, I can attend a conference and meet a lot of people and be social and effective – but – when I get home, I need quiet for awhile. I need to sit on the sofa with my computer or my books or my favorite heartbeats and recharge. Was I talking, a lot? Sure. Not an Extrovert, though.
Finishing with your point about Extroversion being necessary for success, Introverts hear that a lot and we should be clear that 25% to 40% of Americans are introverts, so this is hardly a disability. Most actors are introverts, and that makes sense to anyone who has done any acting. Psychologists (like me), clergy, and many other professionals are often introverted. I worked in sales awhile and it was hard for me and clearly not the best place for me to work, so I left. I was good at it, and I didn’t fail, but it exhausted me.
Sharlyn Lauby says
Hi Brendan. Thanks for the comment.
I agree that one of the challenges with this conversation is oversimplifying the terms. Your example of “talking” and “not talking” is spot on.
My goal in today’s article wasn’t to review the MBTI. I have nothing against the MBTI, but it does suffer from the same oversimplifying challenges. My goal was to say that everyone has introvert and extrovert qualities. We need to remember that from a personal standpoint as well as an organizational one.